This is what happens when you tell yourself you're not good at something.
Updated: Dec 22, 2021
You might not know about me because I taught myself how to write, read, and speak English. I immigrated to this country at the age of eighteen and had minimal resources and money, so I had no other choice but to learn independently. I had many dreams, and I knew that to be successful here, I had to do my best to learn the language and integrate into the culture as best as possible.
I built a great life for myself and my family and had a successful leadership career before becoming a coach.
For the past five years, at least, I have been contemplating writing a book about my life story. I feel passionate about sharing my experiences as I believe it would be a way to inspire others to believe in themselves and what they can achieve. But you did hear me say that the idea has been around in my head for five years, and as of today, a book outline exists, but I haven't written a word.
I keep telling myself, “I am not good at writing,” and I get discouraged every time I make spelling errors since I feel as I am letting my daughters down when they have to be my editors.
But what happens when you tell yourself you’re not good at something? You freeze! You take no action; you retract and pretend to redirect your efforts, but deep down, you know you want to do this; you need help believing you can.
"Don't let the need to make it perfect get in the way of getting it done."
Although it has not been an easy journey, I have put actions in place to help me overcome my challenge and get better at writing. Most of what I do involves writing; I create content, marketing materials, presentations, and tools for my clients. Every day, I challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone and put my thoughts into paper, even if they are not perfect.
Here I share some of the strategies that have worked for me that I believe you will find helpful in overcoming some of your challenges.
Listen to the messages you are telling yourself. In general, most of us practice some self-talk, whether we are aware or not or want to admit it. The key here is to become more self-aware of what those messages sound like. Negative self-talk is damaging beyond belief. It's like sending subliminal messages to your brain every day that influence your brain to believe they're true. If that message says, "I am not good at selling myself," for example, you may very well struggle with closing sales in your business. Therefore, you must dig deep within yourself and uncover what messages you tell yourself. Reframe them into more powerful statements that will enhance your confidence.
"Doubt can only be removed by action."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Practice makes perfect. I know this sounds cliché, but it's a fact. If you think about what makes a professional athlete great, it is the fact that they spend 30 hours of their 40 hour week practicing. So if you want to get good at something, make it your mission to practice. Dedicate at least one or two hours each day to your newfound passion.
Do you!. We tend to measure ourselves against others' abilities, successes, and achievements, and the truth is that it's not at all realistic. You need to embrace that we are unique individuals, and we are experts in our own lives. Not one's journey's equal to another's. Measuring yourself against other people is a formula for disaster, and it will hinder your ability to recognize your gifts and talents. When you embrace and bring your authentic self into everything you do, life becomes much easier, and you attract the people that value and appreciate you.
Create your formula for success. Define what that looks like to map out specific goals and milestones to achieve. Put a plan in place to follow through, then allow yourself a pause to celebrate your accomplishment and recognize your progress. For example, if your goal is to write a book, start with articles or a blog that you can publish. This way, you'll get the practice you need to improve your skills and boost your confidence to keep going.
Reach out to a mentor, a coach, or an accountability partner. We all have great intentions and can launch a new project or goal with no problem. However, staying consistent while working through your challenges and doubts can be difficult, and it will more than likely send you back to square one. Find the right support system for you based on where you are at in your journey. Sometimes you just need someone to give you advice or someone to check in with you from time to time. This is where a mentor or a peer can be a great support. If you need strategy, accountability, and someone to help you get through your internal challenges, a Life Coach can be a great partner for you. Let's chat about some of your current challenges and how working together can benefit you.
I hope you are walking away with some great strategies to put in place to help you overcome what might be keeping you from doing something out of your comfort zone.
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